Liveblogging Kitchen Nights: The Secret Garden

If you’re looking for my comedy videos that Rosie O’Donnell, Rolling Stone, and Kos loves – click here to jump down to them all.

Tonight’s episode – the Kitchen Nightmares season finale – is set in Moorpark, California at a restaurant with a French chef and a slightly weird menu. Talk in comments!

9:00 – The most stubborn chef? More than Sebastian’s? And more puking? Oh, man…
9:01 – They love the racial stereotypes, don’t they? This week – the French!
9:03 – It’s the secret door!
9:04 – Really? Nobody told them Gordon was coming?
9:05 – His gram-gram. Nice. And there are sure making Gordon out to be a total dick.
9:07 – Weird – it’s the season finale and Gordon hasn’t had one single good meal the whole year.
9:08 – The waitress says she doesn’t get complaints on the food. And the reviews I read were okay. So…gee, who to believe.
9:09 – wow – the season finale and every single chef or owner has been arrogant all season.

BREAK – Same old, same old, really.

9:13 – Okay – the maggot potato is gross. That is. Is it real? Not sure, but it is gross.
9:15 – I guess Gordon just seems like a total ashole tonight. Nothing of the helpful mentor, at all.
9:17 – Time for a dinner service – I predict it goes badly.
9:18 – Crusted. Crusted. Crusted.
9:19 – It’s 8:45 in Moorpark and there are few diners. I think I know why – because it’s 8:45 in Moorpark, that’s why.
9:20 – Arrogant. Blah blah blah. Arrogant.

BREAK

9:26 – Fake closed signs. Yow.
9:28 – Can we show more cooking, please? Maybe? Please…oh, no – it’s the end of season…
9:31 – Can I just cut and paste from every other episode?

BREAK

9:38 – Just a dick.
9:39 – Wow – Gordon bought them new stuff. And the Chef dude hates it!
9:41 – It’s like French Sebastian’s!
9:42 – Miss California just showed up? No…
9:43 – Unexpectedly a bus showed up? No…

BREAK

9:47 – Boilerplate Kitchen Nightmares
9:49 – He’s peesed!
9:50 – Gordon walks – and pulls out the ‘donkey’.
9:51 – They love those random shots of people turning around, don’t they?

BREAK

9:53 – Are we getting a happy ending tonight?
9:54 – Devon is a pretty gnarly California cook dude.
9:55 – Oh, here it comes – get ready to cue the happy ending.
9:56 – And another totally fake food critic. Do they not know that food critics don’t COMPLAIN?
9:57 – The producers gave the customers $50 though, right?
9:58 – Happy music! It’s a success! Shock! Stun!

That’s a wrap – I’ll be picking the winner tonight and announcing it tomorrow morning. You have until midnight Hawaii time to enter and maybe win a Gordon Ramsay cookbook by commenting a recipe!
9:59 – “Please do not screw it up” Copyright 2007, Gordon Ramsay

22 Comments

  1. How many bad meals has Chef Ramsey had? How many times on this show has he had one of the “worst meals he has ever eaten.”Ita on the French stereotypes.

    Reply
  2. One has to face that in some cultures, and at some restaurants, food is made to order!

    Reply
  3. The tuna nicoise and chicken specials look like they came from the F-word. Recipes available at channel4.com

    Reply
  4. Hmm, surprised we didn’t have the scene of Jane walking out followed by a shot of a car leaving.

    Reply
  5. You know, I actually like the antique stuff!

    Reply
  6. Aren’t food critics supposed to be anonymous?

    Reply
  7. aaaaaaaaaargh. no epilogue.

    Reply
  8. this entire season has only proven one thing… Americans do not like to watch REAL REALity Television. They like to watch predetermined, pre-written, overacted, rubbish, that has noting to do with reality. These shows are just sitcoms with free actors.

    Give me the real kitchen nightmares, give me the BBC

    Reply
  9. “unexpectedly, a bus with 24 people has shown up!”

    this show is a crock of shit

    Reply
  10. oh yeah, go to the secret garden’s website…

    he has 5 different menus, with none of Ramsey’s food and all of his “crusted, stuffed, fatty” food.

    this show is terrible, its a pathetic parody of the original

    Reply
  11. OK so I have actually eaten there about a year ago. The food is not good. I also know the Chef, Michelle who is the biggest, more arrogant (bad) Chef in the planet. He loves to hear his own voice. He is a pig

    Reply
  12. The BBC version is much better. However the Secret Garden food is bad and the decor is outdated. The Chef was an ass. Go Gordon! Sebastian was worse though.

    Reply
  13. yawn….the shock value of the dirty kitchens and crazy characters have worn off.

    unfortunately, the BBC Kitchen Nightmares wouldn’t translate well to Fox….it’s too cerebral and too documentary-like for mainstream US.

    I think F-word would do well on Fox but having the expletives bleeped really gets annoying. Free GR’s dirty mouth.

    Reply
  14. The American version of this show is killing me. They are so desperate to get to the drama that they don’t even show why Gordon gets mad or that he has any reason to be mad, they just cut right to the insults and anger.

    For instance on last nights episode in the beginning of the show the chef wasn’t shown as being confrontational or arrogant at all, he was just nodding along and responding to Gordon and then suddenly we get this cutaway to Gordon pissed off and screaming “you arrogant SOB, how dare you @&$*%!” I kept thinking to myself wow did they seriously just chop out all of the dialogue that led up to this confrontation or do they just have Gordon go in and pick a fight as fast as he can so they can get to the BS drama. I wonder if Gordon realizes that the producers of this show have made him out to be nothing more than an irrational a**hole instead of brilliant chef with an excellent business sense.

    I hope this show gets canceled and that they go back to doing the BBC version, that was an excellent show with substance.

    Reply
  15. the BBC (BBC America) version is still running and on season 4? in the UK on channel 4.

    you can watch the latest episodes online.

    Reply
  16. i really like this show and have been able to ignore the editing up until this one. however it was badly done. in the shot of gordon storming out he walks through the dining room and the old screen and decor is there so that obviously didnt happen at that time also there is a clip of Michel saying that maybe he was wrong at the end and behind him you see the teacups and fat statue so that was from before the transformation too. if they are going to edit it it for drama at least do it well so that it doenst make the whole show completely unbelievable. i would really like to see the BBC version, i think alot of people would be interested in a documentary type version, we are just so used to the fake drama that thats what the networks think they need to do.

    Reply
  17. why do these people even have him come to the resteraunt if they are going to ignore everything he says and go right back to their old crappy menu! sebastian and michel should have lunch together i think they would get along great.

    Reply
  18. Here are the NY Health Dept inspection findings:

    GORDON RAMSAY
    151 WEST 54 STREET, MANHATTAN 10019
    212-468-8888

    Violation points: 21

    Inspection Date: 10/10/2007

    Violations were cited in the following area(s) and those requiring immediate action were addressed.

    Sanitary Violations
    1.) Other general violation.
    2.) Food contact surface not properly maintained.
    3.) Food contact surface not properly washed, rinsed and sanitized after each use and following any activity when contamination may have occurred.
    4.) Cold food held above 41°F (smoked fish above 38°F) except during necessary preparation.

    Violation 2 & 3 means that the place wasn’t clean. Violation 4 could cause food poisoning–this means possible outbreaks from staphylococcus aureus, clostriium and salmonellosis.

    Inspectors don’t write up these violations unless they were serious–it shouldn’t occur (especially number 4) at any restaurant.

    Reply
  19. The difference? Ramsay is not in his New York restaurant.

    The difference between his New York restaurant and his restaurants in the rest of the world?

    He can’t fire people from the London – they’re Union. Exactly what reason do they have to keep any of his standards? This is why he fought so hard against being forced to hire union members in the first place.

    Reply

Leave a Reply