I’ve been pretty under the weather for weeks now. I’ve given a few updates on Twitter and Facebook but I figure I’d do a more persistent version and mention how it’s impacted my various projects. Here’s Part One of the that.
I have Type II Diabetes, so let’s start there. I haven’t been taking great care of myself there, including not taking the medicine I should be taking. So, that’s changing. I just had an exam and blood work done and while my glucose level and my cholesterol are high, the rest is okay. My heart is fine and so on. I need to take care of stuff while that’s still true. The worst part day to day is the foot pain and eyesight problems. There are now some drugs that might help with the foot pain so I’m going to try those?
Why haven’t I been better at this? It’s honestly been a sort of hopelessness in the back of my mind about the whole situation combined with self-shaming. This shaming part is either something you’ll understand right away or never get in a million years. It’s emotional. Essentially, I’ve been beating up on myself for getting diabetes in the first place. Watching this video (it’s about fifteen) helped me realize this about myself. It’s worth watching.
i’ve been a type 2 diabetic for almost 20 years. i was very lazy about it. denial does that. fear and shame also played a big part. twice i developed diabetic ketoacidosis. the second time i almost died. that’s an eye opener. i have gotten better at eating, and exercising, but i know i can improve on that. diabetes is not fun. it can be hard work. i use splenda, drink diet sodas, lots of water, crystal lite drinks - the change in eating habits was really hard. craptastic foods are a weakness. i indulge, but only a smidgen. i wish you the best of luck. i hope you get past the shame and guilt. you want to be around for your kids, and wife.
take care.