West Virginia Entrance Polls Spell Trouble For Obama

(The comment thread on DailyKos about this piece is crazy…)

According to numbers just released from a unique Clinton campaign sponsored ‘entrance poll’, today’s primary does not look promising for presumptuous Democratic Presidential hopeful Barack Obama.

“West Virginia voters fit squarely with the Clinton demographic; hard working, white voters whose deep seated racism and superstition makes them believe the most outlandish and bizarre lies that they’ve heard”, said Clinton spokesman Howard Wolfson . He continued, “I don’t want to generalize because there are some college students and unlucky, miserable smart people who are desperate to move to someplace – any place – better before their souls are ground down. Other than that, we’re solid, though.”

The Entrance Poll is given to voters as they enter the voting booth, unlike the more traditional Exit Poll which Wolfson says is given ‘after it’s too late’. The Clinton campaign says voters who give correct answers are allowed to vote and also given an assortment of Little Debbie snack cakes.

Who understands the issues facing West Virginia voters?
Woman With Kinfolk In Arkansas : 64 %
What’s His Name. Osama Something. You Know, The Black Guy. : 34%

Who has more experience?
Experienced White Woman : 62%
Black Man Who Wants To Kill White People : 35%

Who makes a stronger leader?
Nice Lady Who Looks Like That Mom On The Brady Bunch : 64%
Man Who Looks Like Boogie Man From Your Childhood Nightmares: 30%

Who would you want marrying your sister?
Barack Obama : 20%
I Am Married To My Sister : 80%

Most Important Issue In Election

Not Electing That Muslim Dude: 30
President Should Not Have Weird Name : 28
Reversing Extensions Of Copyright Act That Benefit Entertainment Companies But Stifle Creative Innovation : 22
But Seriously, The Email Said He Was Muslim : 10
Getting More Little Debbie Snack Cakes : 5

2 Comments

  1. Wow – Dude… that comments string on the Kos is actually insane.. Like, certifiably. What do these people do for a living?

    It’s a f-ing parody. Satire… a joke.

    Wow.

    Reply
  2. You’re certainly good at pissing people off, Lee. 🙂

    Reply

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